I have always loved Ecclesiastes 3: "To everything there is a season...and a time to every purpose under Heaven" and often think about those words (admittedly, with The Byrds singing their tune in my head) when I am going through challenges or major changes in my life. There's comfort for me in interpreting everything in life as being part of a greater story, with bad times as just seasons we must weather, or as experiences that build our endurance for an ultimate purpose - or for several purposes over time.
It's been more than a year since I have posted on this blog. What took me so long? What was I waiting for? There were so many changes in my life. Why didn't I share them? I think the short answer is I was waiting for the right words and the right time.
A year or so ago, I took a leap of faith in pursuit of greater professional growth. My job had started to feel like not quite the right place for me. It was a difficult decision for me to leave, because I loved so many things about the environment and people. Yet I felt that I needed to push myself to try something else. My old job was kind of like a pair of old, favorite bluejeans. I felt good in them, and would wear them every day if I could...until one day, I realized they fit a little too snugly. It was time to admit I was growing and changing and in need of something different. A better fit.
I tried out a new environment that seemed to be closer to the right fit. There would be more opportunity to push myself professionally, not only to develop new areas of expertise but also to become a true specialist in my field. This was the chance I had been waiting for. Except that maybe it wasn't. To push myself professionally, to fully develop those new areas of expertise and become a true specialist in my field, I would have to tip the scales of balance in my life overwhelmingly towards my career, and away from my family. So, there I was, seemingly on track to reach those levels of status and achievement that I had convinced myself I wanted - that I should want - only to recognize that the cost of following that path was much more than I wanted to pay.
As I saw it, I had three choices: (1) lean in; (2) lateral out; or (3) move on. "To everything, there is a season...a time to plant, and a time to uproot." (Ecclesiastes 3:2)
A little more than five years after I was admitted to the practice of law, I packed up my office and kissed BigLaw goodbye. Interestingly enough, when I first decided to go to law school, I never intended to pursue private practice in big, corporate law firms. My passion had been public policy, and I wanted to become a champion of child and family advocacy. Specifically, I wanted to contribute to the development of progressive family-friendly policies in this country. Perhaps it is fitting, if not poetic, that the very same issue that compelled me to pursue my law degree is what ultimately drove my decision to leave law practice.
It would be a lie to say that I didn't have moments of identity crises wrapped up in my decision to change directions in my life. I have always wanted to be a positive role model for other girls and young women in my life, and there was a part of me that wondered if people would be disappointed in me for abandoning the practice. As much as I care what others think -- perhaps too much -- I am not only at peace with this next phase of my journey, I am happy. I am excited.
So, onward to a new season and my next purpose! I have seen a sneak peek of the next chapter, and it is a good one...
Stay tuned.
